I am not my score.


I am not my score.


Catacombs Family–
Many of you know that I often use this blog to communicate from my heart. Recently, I offered (begged) our coaching staff to pick up the mic and communicate from their own hearts. As always, they delivered with flying colors. Stay tuned to hear from each of them. We will begin with Jacob (aka Clark Kent).

Many of you know that a year and a half ago I had an injury to my right foot. I dislocated three
metatarsal bones in, of all things, an Ultimate Frisbee game gone bad. Two surgeries, 2 months on
crutches, and 8 months of rehab and infinite modifications got me back to… square one.

I could barely do air squats the first time I came back to the gym. My right calf was literally 1/3 the size of my overworked left. A year of back pain from overcompensation, chiropractic appointments, and a lot of hard work later and I’m still not able to do the things I could do before my injury. It’s frustrating.

I think this experience has helped me gain some perspective, though. Many of you have experienced and struggled through a setback of one kind or another. Injuries aren’t the only setbacks. I don’t need to tell you how incredibly frustrating it can be to not be able to do the things you think you should be able to do. I’ve seen several of you cry tears or mutter under-your- breath-curses that say, “I just want to be able to do what I used to be able to do, what I know I’m capable of.” Or, “I’m just so frustrated.”

Let me offer you the perspective that this experience has given, is giving me. I am not my score.
I am not my Fran time, my 1RM back squat, or my ability to do double-unders (thank God). These things are not who I am; they are simply things that I can (or cannot) do. I believe in the pursuit of making all of these things better. It’s important to struggle and strain for goals that make us better. But my PR’s and my fitness and my rounds and reps don’t define me. Nor should they affect how I treat people or go about the other parts of my life.

Not having the ability to squat as much as I want to does not give me a get out jail free card for being a grumpy husband or a disengaged dad. I still get to do better at those things every day.
We’re all at different spots on our fitness and life journeys. You may be in a spot that is not as far along as you think you should be, or as far along as you have been before. And that is frustrating. And that is ok.

You are not your score, either. Just show up, be consistent, and keep working. Work hard to make all of these things faster, stronger, better. That’s good to do. But don’t let these things define who you are. If you are your 1RM back squat, take a step back and ask yourself who you’re going to be when you get injured, or when you lose a job, or a loved one, or you can’t lift as much as you used to, or… Be who you’ve been made to be regardless of the whiteboard, because you are not your score.


5 Responses

  1. Diane Legner

    Thanks Jacob. Sure helps as I work, crawl my way back to the gym and attempt to do all the "things" I was able to do before knee surgery. Yes, can be, is very frustrating. I attempt to focus on my progress, and all the support I get. Makes me SO appreciative of the coaches and fellow athletics who make Catacombs the best place! Thank you for not being your score! Diane

  2. Susan Harmon McLean

    Thank you, Jacob! Well said. I have had that mindset, yet at times I am in tears not seeing much improvement as I watch everyone around me progress and get better and better. I hit the gym 3-4 times a week, and on my off days I will hike 4 miles, or go to yoga flow class, or ride my bike. I keep active daily in hopes of meeting goals, along with being on the performance WLC diet (which I have been doing for about 8 months anyway), and my measurements, weight, and ability seem to remain static. I needed to read this today, as this week has been a setback for me with migraine headaches and I’ve struggled with working out and feeling like not only am I not progressing, but I’m regressing. Thank you for perspective!! Beautiful!

  3. Earl McGee

    Great words, Jacob! I look forward to seeing you and everyone else next week. I have been out for a couple of months on a mental break and your words have inspired me!

  4. Kathleen O'Connor

    I love this message, Jacob. I have definitely felt frustration at times when I don’t see the progress I think I should I see. Part of that is my own impatience…..I’m trying to take that energy and turn it into something positive by setting objective and attainable goals this year, and also being more kind to myself. We are all on our own journeys to greater fitness, and just showing up is an achievement in itself. I’m very grateful to you, and all the coaches, for your enthusiasm and support.

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us!